Category: The Church

We are all in need of grace…

On By Osborne Purifoy IIIIn The ChurchLeave a comment

What’s your struggle (read: sin)?

I ask this rhetorically, of course. Nevertheless, I want you to think about that thing. Not the one that you’re willing to confess to your friends, prayer group, or pastor when you talk to him or her in private. I want you to think about the thing you don’t want to even acknowledge in your own personal prayer time. Yeah, that one.

What’s grace?

For the purposes of this post, I’ll define it as God’s infinite love for us and His provision of a helper (the Holy Spirit) to transform us to the image of Christ. Also, it’s God allowing us the space to make mistakes and poor choices in the transformation process.

I think that should work fine.

Whatever it is you thought of, from the first question, you are in need of God’s grace to get you through to victory over that thing… until God reveals the next thing that we need to work on. Guess what? You’ll need God’s grace for that too. And that’s fine. Paul in his letter to the church in Philippi encourages them (and us too) that the work that Jesus, through the working of the Holy Spirit, begun in believers will perfect it until his (meaning Jesus) return (Philippians 1:6 AMP). That tells us that we will never be perfect while here on Earth, but we should keep doing the best we can as we are walking out our respective journeys [hand in hand with the Spirit].

What is the work? Good question. The work is the continual transformation of us (the individual) into the image of Jesus so that we might do his will here on Earth.

One of the most freeing things that I have experienced on this journey is letting go of my active judging of others and their issues. It takes way too much energy to think, analyze, and respond to what someone else is doing while I’ve got my own set of issues. I see it all the time in the classroom. (I teach middle school math, fyi.) I can redirect someone who is not on task and about 95% of the time the kid actively looks for someone who is doing the same thing or worse to bring attention to, as if I was going to ignore their wrongdoing. (I could stay here for a long time but I must move on.)

“At least I’m not doing that.”

that (noun) –  1) the thing you have victory over (aka “the thing I’ll never do… again”)
2) the thing you’ve never struggled with
3) the thing you find icky

If we all could just come down from our spiritual high horses and be humble for just a little while. We waste too much time standing in a place of judgment and feeling superior that helping our brothers and sisters through whatever is their struggle. Too much time wasted… just too much time. None of us have a heaven nor a hell to send someone to and I thank God for that. We have our lists of acceptable/respectable sins as well as the unforgivable ones (or “they can’t come back from that”). Truth is, all of it makes the Father sad. He wants us to love people and show the way to him, that way is Jesus.

We’re so desperate to make people do right that we even champion legislation that supports our belief set. I’m going to let you in on a little secret… you cannot legislate righteousness (one for the Father). One more time, you cannot legislate righteousness (for the Son). You cannot legislate righteousness (for the Holy Spirit). People are going to do what people are going to do and if they have to, illegally. I believe that only contempt is bred toward the God we serve carrying on in this manner. This is not to say that anything goes and we should spiral into a free-for-all and accept and tolerate whatever. (Yes, we have grace, but we also have a responsibility too. I think best to do another post about grace abuse.) Rather, we should focus and battle back from a grace mindset showing Christ’s love and let the Spirit do the transforming.

We already had a law. It showed us that it was impossible for anybody to do it alone. That’s why Jesus came to be the ultimate sacrifice so we don’t have to struggle with keeping the law. We now have the Spirit to teach and guide us along the way so that we can make the choices continually that bring us closer to Christ.

Think about how God’s grace has kept and is keeping you going. From the day we are born until the day we day we will be in need of God’s grace. Let’s remember this as we interact with our brothers and sister we see everyday and extend them some grace.

Comment, subscribe, share, or a combination of all three. Til next time.

I’m hurting… and it’s the fault of the church

On By Osborne Purifoy IIIIn The Church2 Comments

Church hurt is real.

The above statement is an unfortunate truth, but know it is an experience from which you can be healed and overcome. Let me share with you my story. A few years ago, I was in a space where I had become, at best, stagnant with my relationship with God. Part of it was my desire for more from my church experience and the other part we’ll leave for another day. I was attending church semi-regularly and one day my then-girlfriend (now wife) invited me to her church where the Pastor and Assistant Pastor were her former Youth Pastors when she was growing up. I was not disappointed when the day came for me to visit and see what she had been talking about. For the first time in a long time I had begun to feel inspired to dig deeper and get back to work.

Um, this doesn’t sound painful. Actually, it sounds like you were moving in the right direction.

I’m getting there please hold on just a little bit longer.

Eventually, I joined the church and began to enjoy the process of growth and being challenged to live my life better everyday. One of the first things I learned about this church is that it operated under an itinerancy. Itinerancy basically meaning that the pastor of the church could be moved to another congregation at the denominational leadership’s discretion. I knew it was a possibly that this pastor that I began to develop a relationship and fondness for could be moved (usually during the yearly conference meetings) and prepared myself inasmuch as I could for that chance. I soon found how prepared I was… not very.

One Sunday, the pastor called a meeting for all of the church’s leadership for an announcement and I attended because my wife was serving in the church at the time. What I would then hear would break my heart. The next Sunday would be the last one at our church for him and his family. A whole range of emotions would flood my being as I began to process this information. Anger. Fear. Sadness. Confusion. I simply just did not understand. The main reason for all of these feelings was because it wasn’t time yet, it was March, so something felt off about the whole thing.

After hearing some people speak on the situation, I began to see and understand what really was going on behind the scenes. I don’t want to oversimplify, but it seemed to boil down to some of the traditionalists resistance to change and the fact that people worship a system rather than Who (intentionally capitalized) the system was designed to facilitate worship for. Was the outgoing pastor perfect? No. Could some things could have been handled differently? Of course. Still, none of those things seemed (and won’t ever be) justification enough for what was happening. The Sunday came, then went, and when the pastor and his family walked down the aisle for the final time my heart broke. I burst into tears as soon as church was dismissed and wept for a while afterward.

Oh.

Yeah. I began to distrust some of my fellow congregants and held a bitterness towards these people, the church, and the system itself. I’m certain that the enemy enjoyed my feelings at at time.

So what did you do next? You had to leave the church, right?

Actually, I stayed. There were many others who did leave. I prayed for release but received none. I became involved with the youth ministry (sometimes it’s okay to say “no” – another post for another day) and resolved to serve until God no longer gave me the grace to continue at that church.

As I began to serve, I saw that the people needed my prayers and whatever light I could bring and show in those times. Helping those young ones develop and learn about Christ became my priority and helped me work through many of my issues. It wasn’t easy serving in that regard but there were good times as well as times which served as growth opportunities.

Two and a half years later the day came where it was time to go and we moved on. I still bear a scar from my experience, but God did heal and make me whole. Wholeness and forgiveness to the point that I hold no ill will towards anyone that contributed to any hurt caused to anyone. I wish the best for everyone and above all that God’s will be done for that church and community. I had to chalk this painful situation up to the sovereignty of God, trusting that He knows and will do the best thing for those who love him according to his purposes (Romans 8:28 AMP).

What does that have to do with me?

First, while I cannot ease your pain nor erase your experience, I would like to express my sadness that your church experience (or church folks) has caused you such pain. Know that the church is full of imperfect people trying to serve a perfect God. This is not an excuse but a statement of what is. There are bound to be some missteps on this journey as we travel onward, but those of us who are serious about it endeavor to improve and reflect Jesus and his love for us. I really want to encourage you to focus on the God we serve as opposed to the people. Knowing and feeling the difference is key to moving forward in your journey.

Maybe someone hurt you that was being a poor representation of Christ which made you want nothing to do with Him. Perhaps someone verbally and emotionally beat you down for an issue with which you’ve been struggling. Or, it may be that you’ve faced judgement for something you’ve said or done, just know that the Father loves you intently and intensely desiring to be in relationship with you through His son, Jesus. I believe that there is a place for you among a (or the) fellowship of believers that will accept you, love you, and give you the grace to make mistakes as you grow in relationship with Him. I am not exempt as I have hurt and been hurt and I sincerely hope that I haven’t turned anyone off to the gospel due to my actions. I find myself thinking of this more as I try to be more intentional in my interactions with others.

There is nothing, and I mean NOTHING, that you’ve done (or will do) that you can’t find forgiveness for in Him. There also is no hurt you’ve experienced, inside or out of the church, you can’t be healed from and be made whole. If you’re seeking, keep seeking, I am confident you will find what you need. I will earnestly pray that God surround you with exactly what you need to begin and sustain a relationship with Him. If nothing else, you have a safe space here, you are loved, and you are accepted. Let’s turn our hurts into testimonies of how God has healed us and is moving us forward and deeper in Him and help others do the same.

I wanted to share with you my experience and let you know that you aren’t alone in your hurt. You can be healed and whole, if you really desire it. I pray it so for you in Jesus’ name. Subscribe, share, comment or a combination of all three, I’d love to hear from you. Until next time.